my two cents on the other side of the rainbow


When all things pile up and you are left feeling small, I’m just. Waiting for the earth to swallow me. Whole, not anymore.


I never existed at all.


I do not exist.
I never existed at all.


What I feel for you should be written as a love song,
Published in a book,
Shouted to the world.
But what i feel for you–
How i feel for you–
By describing in words, attempts are futile.

Such a shame how such magnificence remains a secret unspoken,
But otherwise felt even across the miles kepping us currently apart.

Perhaps I could try other languages,
Te amo, jetaime, wo ai ni–
But still.. Still.

I adore you is weak,
I love you is almost not enough,
Because the feeling that is tugging my heartstrings sings a wondrous melody so soulfully deep it scares and excites my being.

And that is how it is. The cause and cure. The strength and weakness.
All rolled into one.

Abandoned Blog

Oh my, just realized that I have totally abandoned this blog for a long time. Well, that’s not entirely true– I’m fully aware that I haven’t been updating as much as I would have wanted to at the start. And it’s not even because I don’t have time to do it–I do. Just that I choose to do other things than staring at a screen and typing away. It just occured to me that I should cherish each second while I’m here, with my classmates, as we are soon going to part ways for the last semester of our program.

Okay, so I think the last time I’ve updated was when I was in Ireland. A lot has happened since then. I went back home in the Philippines for my summer vacation– had a blast, two months will never be enough– and then flew off to this lovely island in the middle of the Mediterranean sea, just in time for another summer.

Malta has been quite an experience. We’ve only been here a little over two months and we’ve seen most if it already as it is so small. It’s actually smaller than some cities where I come from. Some of my classmates and I are living right in front of the Marina so we have a spectacular view of the sea and some green parks. As compared with Norway and Ireland, food, rent and utilities are cheaper, so we are managing quite nicely. We will only be here for two more months though. After that, we will be having our holiday breaks (i’ll be spending mine with relatives in the US– roundtrip tickets are cheap!) and then moving on to the country where we will be assigned for our dissertation.

I’ve lovely pictures of the place, but everything is in facebook anyways, so maybe drop by in that social networking site if you’d want to see.

Okay, on to real life again. Ciao ciao 🙂

Ang magmahal ng iba..

“Iba na lang ang mahalin mo.”

That would like throwing away years of love and bliss. Akin to invalidating everything my partner and I have been throough together.

So a resounding NO to you.

Clear Waters

Often, we find ourselves plunged,
Into the waters.
We struggle and we fight,
Seeking the treasure below
And bringing it up as our prize.
On the surface, looking down
Ripple after ripple
Cast shadows to the ground
But they die away
As we learn to be still
Casting clear waters to the sand.
And we see that struggle is necessary
But prize-seeking is futile–
Calmness seeks peace in our hearts.


Two months

Warning: mushmush alert!

Time flew by so fast. In two month’s time, this semester in Dublin will be over and I haven’t even blogged about it yet. Yikes.

In a nutshell, let me say that I had a rough start– what with the flu and very wet and cold Irish weather. Difficulties in looking for accommodations didn’t help matters any. But it picked up. I tried my best to make the most out of it by staying optimistic amidst craziness and I tired to find solace in travelling, which turned out to be crazy frantic but enjoyable too. Needless to say, I’m enjoying.

But I know where my heart belongs and it is miles away from where it is supposed to be.

For the time being, I will keep on enjoying. TWO MONTHS, can you believe that? 🙂